A protracted exchange between brother RR and Phreerunner continues on my multi-commented post Holme.
I started to add a comment of my own, but after knocking it together I thought it may be wasted in a location not being visited as much by my readers.
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May I barge in on your exchanges and make a plea for the Mk1 Vauxhall Victor, circa 1958 as Worst Car Ever?
The bodywork seems to have been made from re-cycled Heinz Beans tins and developed into a lace curtain within about eighteen months.
There was a steering column gear-change that worked through umpteen different linkages, and even tough there were only three gears (I think) it was not easy to find them, whilst the macho short-shift gear stick favoured by the flat cap, cravat, sports jacket brigade had been eliminated; the reason for that was to provide a front bench seat so the passenger could slide into the driver, that was if a corner was ever taken fast enough, which was unlikely, thus causing an accident and write-off, hopefully before the embarrassing development of the lace curtain.
As you attempted to get into the car the rearward extension of the front wing or windscreen bodywork protruded in a pointy fashion threatening disembowelment.
One glance from a five year old would likely have elicited the obvious observation “the wheels are too small..” That of course lead to chronic understeer.
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| With thanks to Google Images. I even found a mustard coloured one (see exchanges on Home mentioned above) |
Since we are the forgotten two, I'll not trespass elsewhere.
ReplyDeletenot gone, not forgotten
ReplyDeletebut I could add a few . . without your conspectus of the genre , possibly not quite abysmal depths you describe
1977 Morris Marina is the worst car I’ve ever had.We used it to tow our first caravan to Glen Coe one November and set up in a small sheltered area below Buachaille Etiive Beag. The following night strong winds shaking and rocking the van had us worried so, somewhat irrationally, we decided to tow to lower ground. Somewhere near Kingshouse all our lights went out - headlights and dashboard. I managed to stop safely and they came on again. This intermittent problem was never solved. A few weeks later the gear stick detached from the gearbox and finally the engine seized. Fortunately it was a company car. After a Ford Capri (excellent) I forever more had Saabs all of which were faultless, as were Lynne’s. When our final aging Saab had to go and with Saab out of business we bought a Skoda Yeti 4x4 150 diesel. We really like it and are impressed with the brand so far. The leather may not be as high quality as Saab but otherwise it’s well finished. I’m with RR on Skoda.
ReplyDeleteI fear the Phreerunner/RR dialogue will soon be forgotten despite Gimmer's reassurances. As more and more posts are piled on top of us, the Home post will be shoved into Google's equivalent of The Empty Quarter, specifically Older Posts. Speaking as an octogenarian I detect irony in this.
ReplyDeleteI saw a vehicle in the campsite i stay at in the HVA (a classic gallic acronym - it just means Haut Vallee d'Aude) which looked like a rather crude lop-ended two decker hut on a short wheel base ex-army Defender - but it was actually some German product on a toyota landcruiser platform - a bit like like an early Renault 'char' crossed with a haycart - at the time I thought it the ugliest vehicle ever - but a day or two later a similar chassis bearing a genuine, but very ramshackle hut, with protruding ragged eaves complete with blackening moss and dying grass, careered its way round the local by-pass - not a load on a flatbed as one might expect but actual body work - at first it looked like an escape from the local carnival but was a 'real' conveyance - if there wasn't such a word as carahut, there is now ! It made everyone laugh, so one shouldn't really call it ugly'.
ReplyDeleteTalking about Renaults, dare I mention my old rear-engined sleeve-lined cylinder block R8 'Sport' you advised me against - probably the worst both in terms of structural rot (read 'collapse'), unreliability and utter inconvenience I have had.
RR - I am happy for you to continue. I see a new commenter, Humphrey has now arrived. I am not far off the octogenarian title but don't feel it (quite.) On my recent long walk I was crossing a suburban road in buoyant backpacking style when a mother and six year old son were approaching on bikes. The mother cautioned the son - "watch out for the old man."
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Afoot - "...somewhere near the Kingshouse." I have no pleasant memories of that establishment. I'm glad to hear the Yeti is to your satisfaction. Whilst those earlier cars were so unreliable we now have sophisticated computer control systems and gone are the happy days of home DIY car repairs. I had company cars all my working life snd was saved from the toils I observed in my less fortunate contemporaries. When I retired in 1994 I bought new VW Passat thinking that would see me out. It turned out to be quite unsatisfactory and I am now on my eighth car since retirement with my Kia Cede Sportline which is proving to be the best car I have had to date.
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gimmer - I think that Renault was the one I came to help you with at Darlington. Something to do with suspension replacement I recall, and what seemed to me to be an over ambitious project, compressing springs with old climbing rope - not my idea of a jolly weekend.
"The bodywork seems to have been made from re-cycled Heinz Beans tins"
ReplyDeleteFunny you should say that in relation to a Vauxhall...
My second car was a Vauxhall Viva and when the exhaust pipe sheared on a drive down to Cornwall, I fixed it with the materials available to me at the M5 services where I stopped - that turned out to be a wire coat hanger and a beer can. The beer can proved not to be strong enough for the job of holding two sections of pipe together, so it got replaced with a baked bean can, held on with proper clips. That baked bean can was still holding the exhaust together when I sold the car.
the very one - and it worked - old climbing ropes have their uses - food for another 75 comments perhaps !
ReplyDeleteGayle - ypu're DIY skills have always impressed me. When needs must...
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gimmer - I have one by my bedroom window in case the staircase becomes a flaming impasse.